February 9, 2014

February 9, 2014

For my past crimes, I was just sentenced to the poker for 40 days.  The judge said that I should have known better than to participate in Justin’s egg-throwing party.  Ironically there is a 40 year difference between me and Justin.  Who knows how these things work out.  One day you were hired to write some words to a song, and then a short time later I am facing the judge, in a crime that I truly have no memory of.  Due to the arrest I am thrown out of Justin’s social world, which probably is a blessing than anything else.    The judge was kind enough to give me 40 more days to get my affairs in order before reporting to jail time.  Oddly enough I don’t feel guilty about what happened.  Sometimes you just have to experience the lows in life to appreciate the highs.  Alas, there is a great deal of sadness on my part, because deep down I still want to be part of Justin’s world.

A quick turn of events makes one reflect on one's life, and I often wonder what would happen if I didn’t see The Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show when I was 9 years old.  I was for sure attracted to the intense love the whole world was giving the Fab Four.  Yet, I can’t remember what songs they played on the show.  I just remember looking forward to the moment they arrive in front of me, or on my TV screen.  It wasn’t even a music thing, just to become part of that moment when things fell in place so perfectly.

The second thing that hit me right between the eyes that year was “Peyton Place.” I just turned 10 years old and I fell in love with Allison MacKenzie, played by Mia Farrow.   If I had a ‘type’ it would be a girl with long blonde hair.  There was something fairy-tale like about her presence on the little screen that really captured my heart.  I didn’t understand the show, but I got the intensity and passion right away.  Totally emotional, but Farrow struck me as someone I can just talk to, if I knew her.  Or I should say Allison, because that is the part she played in the series.  I believe that she was 19, but her being a teenager, in my mind, was that she was approachable for a ten year old.   Of course this was all fantasy, but when you are a kid you always fall in love with someone older.  I’m sure there were tons of pre-teen girls in love with The Beatles, and on one level you think, these guys are in their early 20’s.  But when you are part of the rush of pre-teenage or teenager, you don’t really pay attention to logic, but more of an inner-fantasy world, that was more important and more lively.

In real life when she went off with Frank Sinatra, it seemed weird to me, and I didn’t totally understand why she didn’t run off with Ryan O'Neal her co-star in “Payton Place.” But then mysteries are mysteries due to the unknown world of emotional attachment.   I think what disturbed me as a kid is that Sinatra wasn’t part of the family or not part of the show.  Around the same time, I also developed another crush on another blonde, Hayley Mills.  She was a great teenage star in the Walt Disney world.  I actually cut out pictures of her from 16 Magazine and put them up on my bedroom wall.   It was shocking to me, that eventually she ended up marrying a British movie director Roy Boulting when she was 20, and he was 53 years old.  Another odd thing about Mia and Hayley is that they were both in productions of “Peter Pan” but not on the same show.  I think Hayley played Wendy, but Mia actually performed as Peter Pan.

So now 50 years later, I am in front of the judge for hanging out with Justin and his crew, and I can sort of see I was trying to capture a moment that I never had.  Only in my head, and I had the chance to live that fantasy or moment, but now find my self soon heading towards jail with only a copy of a novel by Natsume Sōseki.