December 22, 2014
The one clear enemy I do have is the past. I just have to claim it, and then go forward. To go backwards is against human nature. Even if we were all machines, it is built for the purpose to go ahead, not backwards. “The past is necessarily inferior to the future. That is how we wish it to be. How could we acknowledge any merit in our most dangerous enemy: the past, gloomy prevaricator, execrable tutor?” I wake up to the smell of mildew, which is the scent of the past trying to overcome the essence that is the present. I just want to destroy the chains that’s holding me back, and culture as well. Tradition is nothing more than a prison. I wish to break free, and therefore we need to destroy what is keeping us entrapped in our culture.
“I have everything, yet have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still of nothing am I in want.” For the upcoming new year, I plan to destroy my past, so I can truly live for the moment, and for the future. If I can somehow leave my house on the 31st, by throwing a lighted match over my shoulder into the aging timber that makes my home…. Into ashes. The bridge between me and the world seems to get longer and longer. How I desire the train that will take me from Los Angeles to San Francisco in 30 minutes. The faster the speed, the more conscious I’m of my surroundings. If I can take a dying shitty city like Venice (Italy and California) and pave it over with cement, I would be so much happy. On the other hand happiness is such an illusion. But then again that is the reason why I write: to make illusions for a world that is already a mere illusion.
“Why, Italian Futurists, have you slavishly reproduced only what is commonplace and boring in the bustle of our daily lives.” I crave the sounds from my inner rhythm. To be restricted by a form that has been in place for centuries is truly a human-made nightmare. I can’t stand the silence, because the world is naturally noisy - “music is organized sound. ”
As a poet I even feel constricted by just using only paper and pen. I’m also concerned what is outside the paper, notebook or book. Why shouldn’t the table that I write on, not become my work as well? The world that all of you gave me is either left or right, wrong or right, this and that, him or her, or her and her, or him and him - and so forth. What I crave is to jump out of the jail cell you made for me, and totally express myself using every essence of science, thought, and body. You pretend to show me love, but in fact you’re my rival. “I embrace my rival, but only to strangle him.”
The greatest invention is the machine. It has allowed us to focus our attentions, and even more important, our time on things we desire. Anything that wipes out the current world is all right with me. We all have a need to clean ourselves, and what better way than a bath that is a mixture of war, mayhem, desire, and fresh clean water. “Time and space died yesterday. We already live in the absolute, because we have already created eternal, omnipresent speed.” “Let’s murder the moonlight, ” and embrace the essence of our passion, which is the beauty and purity of speed, for the purpose of movement, change, and the love of neon.