The Sunday Series:
Sunday October 18, 2015
Sunday? I really don’t get it. Why is it everyone taking the day off on Sunday? Yet that is the busiest day for me. I made a pact with myself to write a piece every Sunday, and then posting it on Facebook and on my blog that day. To be honest, I haven’t the foggiest idea why I even do a “Sunday” post or piece. It is not like people are waiting for me to write a Sunday piece. I don’t think my 2,000 Facebook friends are getting excited when Saturday approaches, knowing that there will be a Sunday post by yours truly. The truth is, 1,500 of those friends don’t even know me. They could care less if I live or die, or even if I commit a horrific shooting in some part of the world. But the 500 people out of that 2000 friends, are close friends of mine.
There have been times when I organized a party at my house for the 500 (that is what I like to call the group), and we do things I like to do, like “spin the bottle,” “bobbing for apples,” and stuff like that. I also make sure that within the 500, there are absolute beauties in that grouping. If one spends time going over Tosh’s “friends,” your eyes would pop out. I can’t tell you the many hours I have spent just going over each Facebook profile, to look at these girls. The beauty of it is that they know me, and I know them, if you get my “drift.”
The “500," on a regular basis, meets up in a location of my choice. I even made a card up with a thumb up and underneath it says "500 Likes." Each card also has the profile photograph as well as their name. We were meeting at my house on a regular basis, but then we decided to rent out a whole restaurant, or even a small theater, where we do our own theatrical productions. We don’t make plans, because the “500” is not into plans. Boring people make plans, the “1,500” make plans, we make chaos. 500 beautiful bodies, souls, all moving into the inner melody that is among ourselves. All I have to do, to have a good time is basically stuck my tongue out, and for sure, a beauty will capture my tongue and give it a proper message with their tongue. It never fails, in fact, I usually enter the premise of the party with me sticking my tongue out.
I think our masterpiece is when I staged a version of Hugh Hefner's “Playboy After Hours” TV show. The beauty of it, is that we based the live setting on a specific show - the one with Soupy Sales as guest. I had each member of the 500 club memorize the dialogue that took place on the program. We also did it in real time. So if the show lasts an hour, then that is how long the live production plays out. I spent a private and extremely intense time counting the bodies or people that were in that episode, and counted 50. So 450 of us would watch the show. I, on the other hand, took the role of Hugh, and I chose one of the beauties in the group, Kim, as my date and sort-of co-host. It was pretty awesome.
In the summer, the “500” had a party, where all of us were naked. It was great. Seeing the images on Facebook, and then seeing these people in person, and better yet, in the nude - oh my gawd, it’s fantastic. I arranged a game, where one walks into a big room, and all you can see were naked asses. Their heads and torsos were covered up by a black cloth. There are seven asses, and we had to match the ass to the correct face that is used in that person’s Facebook profile. Who would have known? I totally lost in this game.
The very name “Facebook” is interesting. We have a need to put our face on a social media platform. Most of us do so, because we want to connect with another human, or who we think is human. It wouldn't work if we just showed our sexual gender parts as the profile, or would it? If I ever fall down in my manor, better known as “The Dumps, ” all I need to do is post my face - and bingo! At least 500 likes. And then if that is not enough, you get comments from these people telling how nice you look, and saying they miss you, and so forth. For me, Facebook is win-win.
- Tosh Berman