April 12, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

April 12, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)


It's Wednesday, and I'm waiting for the mail.  My day is, waiting.  I wake up due to the sun coming up, and I move around the house to avoid the intense and direct sunlight.  It is not until around 7 PM where I feel I can stay still and place my body on the seat facing Waverly Drive.

Once the sun goes down, I feel more alive. Perhaps due to its cocktail hour at that time.   The first sip of white wine drains all my anxiety away.   I feel guilty about spending money on vinyl records, but it's one of the great pleasures in my life where I can sit in front of the turntable, with headphones on, and play an old record, that clearly has a lot of history on it.  The album may have been at the very least in one household, but perhaps two.

 I remember in the 80s I sold my records to get credit to buy new albums.  It was the only way for me to afford in getting a new record.  At that time, it was Aron's Records on Melrose, but I often regret in letting go records that mean a lot to me.  It's mostly an impulse on my part that when I want something new, I just trade in what I feel I can trade in at that moment.  I'm happy to get the new record, but it always comes with a profound sense of regret.

The wine drinking now is very much like the sun moving in a 12-hour day, it's just a reminder that time is moving on.   I sense a significant loss of wasted time, but that comes down to the nature of doing work, and on a schedule.  As I wander around the house to avoid the sunlight, I plan to sit myself down to write.  Within 12 hours I very much want to write something special or original. Or if anything else, something that will bring importance to whoever reads the text.   On the other hand, the truth is, I just want to make a presence within those hours to prove that I can be productive.   Alas, I often fail.

As mentioned, I feel close to Stephen Bannon.  We did arrange a meeting early this year, but we never met up.  Although I don't have proof, I suspect he deliberately ignored me.   I can feel his presence hooking me, and pulling towards his direction.  But then he rejected me, not by words, but by expressing no communication or clearly expressing the fact that I have no meaning in his life.  It's ironic that he's getting the same treatment from President Trump and his family.   They use you for your ideas, and once finished, they throw you back into the ocean.   He and I are like bloated whales, that are stranded on a beach.   I was thinking of approaching him again, now that he has been rejected, but decided that would be cruel on my part.   I sit here and get angry, but what good is it to add misery to his already miserable existence?  This is what I think about, when drinking a glass of Charles Shaw white, and listening to an old Move album on my hi-fi.

February 20, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

February 20, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

The essence of failure is the self-knowledge of going down the drain, and there is nothing to hold on to.  There is a gentleman that I read about here by the name of Gensiro Kawamoto, who owns landmark property here in Tokyo as well as throughout Japan, and Hawaii extending to California.  He is one of the wealthiest men in Japan, and according to sources, he only pays in cash, and never credit.  He is one of the very few who has no debt.  One can see his logo throughout the Ginza (the Beverly Hills of Tokyo) on the side of buildings.  "Marugen" always stands for Mr. Kawamoto.   He rarely does interviews (an actual billionaire has no need for the popular press), and he rarely sleeps.  Perhaps four hours a night, and his only interest is the making of the deal.  He's addicted not to power, but the gamble of obtaining property.  There are 60 buildings in Japan with his name on it. 

Gensiro Kawamoto

Gensiro Kawamoto's shoes

Most of Kawamoto's buildings are leased to various hostesses bars, and entertainment centers throughout Shinjuku, Ginza, and Roppongi.  The essence of Tokyo, at least to my eyes, is Gensiro Kawamoto.  I often imagine my life with such individuals as Kawamoto and realize that I don't have the talent or brains to follow through life in such a challenging manner.   My weakness disgusts me to no return.   Here I imagine life within the Stephen Bannon world, and he's just an ambitious fly to a bigger piece of excrement.   I have been reading on Julius Evola's text, or what I can find on the Internet.  Bannon often drops his name in conferences at various right-wing think tanks.  This Italian Futurist and one-time member of DADA is the key to the entrance of what ills us today.   The problem is the President of the United States is a man who doesn't read, yet Bannon is an excellent reader on many levels.   I suspect Kawamoto to be in the same league as Bannon.  Ego is the downfall and the men behind the curtain rule the chicken coop. 

Julius Evola

February 19, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

February 19, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

As I write, I'm like a fuse that's burning, and once the explosion hits, the world I know will be torn into pieces of flesh and metal.   I can tell things are bad because people are avoiding me like I'm the wrong reporter in the White House press conference.   Ever since yesterday, I have been printing out images of Stephen Bannon from the internet.  I'm convinced that he's a murderer.   I saw the man once, the one who caused my father's death.   Ever since then, I wished for him to rot outward to his inners.  Bannon looks like a man that is rotting by the second.  Like a hanging banana left too long on the kitchen counter, Banner is clearly decaying in front of my eyes.  If you poke too hard, he will explode.  It makes me sick to my stomach that I approach him about helping to build a statue in the President's honor.  I now want to burn my plans and scatter the ashes into Bannon's whiskey and water.

On the other hand, it's a beautiful day in Tokyo.  I spent some quality time in Shinjuku.  I borrowed a jacket from a member of the family here, and there is something fantastic when you leave an over-warmed room into the cold air.  I never felt so clean before.  I like to lose myself in the crowd.  It's the only time that I can forget about myself, and become this force.   I even enjoy the Far Right in the Shibuya Station.  At least four vans followed an all-black van that looked like they had metal fencing around the windows.  On the top of the vehicle are four huge loud speakers.  Not sure if it's a tape they are playing or an actual person in the car with a microphone.  Free speech being allowed, but in a volume where one can hear it for miles.    If Trump were smarter, he would have a series of these type of trucks driving through rural and urban centers.  He can stay at Mar-a-Lago with "the set," and at the same time, Trump can have these trucks plow through the countryside.  Japan always have better ideas than the West.

Today I will plan for my future.

February 18, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

February 18, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

I must have my revenge.   I can see now, that I'm in Tokyo, that the moment has risen for me to strike.  I have missed the opportunity on a continuous basis for my entire life.  I'm having a series of drinks in Harajuku bar, all by myself.   I'm not drunk.  In actuality, I'm quite sober.  The situation is, every February 18, I see appearances of my late father.  I'm used to seeing him in Los Angeles, but it's odd that this spirit has followed me to Tokyo.    I was walking in Shinjuku last night, and I noticed this foreigner in a large hat and fur coat following me.  I ducked into a Disk Union shop in hopes of avoiding this figure.  I was going over the Beatles Japanese pressings of various Sgt Pepper covers when I looked up and saw the foreign fellow. It was my father.  In these type of situations, I pretend not to notice him.  When I looked up again, he was gone.

I have accepted that I had these visions and learned to live with them.  Still, the big difference is that I'm in a foreign country - a different culture, and still, there is my father in front of me.  What bothers me the most is that I feel that he's giving me a message of some sort.  Throughout my life, I ignored any signs of bitterness on my part.  The truth is, I'm very bitter.   I live my life as if it's daytime.  Still, the night has pretty much taken over my soul.  

I'm a fiction writer, and I take daily life as a source for my work.  It's the foundation where my ideas come from.   The most traumatic thing that ever happened was my dad's murder.   In fact, I guess it was an accident, but I never accepted it as just an accident.  Because the way the case came out, it clearly is about a  man avoiding his crime, and where he is now, or if even he's alive is like a mist that surrounds me on a daily basis whenever I allow my mind to wander without any censorship or constrained in any fashion.

I walk around Tokyo because it clears my head.  I'm not really a tourist, but more of a person who puts a jacket on, and leaves the front entrance of a building, without a thought which direction to go.  If the winter wind is going a direction, I just follow that force without a thought in my head.   Stephen Bannon has been pretty much in my brain.  It was last night that I realize he looks like the guy who killed my father in a drunken so-called car accident.  Much younger then, but now he has the face of a man who has enjoyed his poison for many years.  It's odd today that I saw two weddings.  One Japanese style and the other western.  It seemed like theater.  I can never penetrate the difference between what I consider to be something real or a staged performance.   I wander now, like forever.

February 17, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

February 17, 2017

People call me Speed Racer here.  Not for the wheels I have, or my wide dark eyes, but due that I think fast on my feet.  I consider myself a very literate gentleman, yet, I can't read a thing in Japan.  In America, I'm all about words, but here in Japan, it's all visual to me.   I feel disconnected from my language and world, which is a splendid thing.  I'm forced to use another side of my brain here.  The funny thing is I speak Japanese to the people behind the coffee counter without realizing it.  When you need to communicate something or show desire, language is not a problem.   

I have nothing to read here except my writing, which to be honest, is boring.   I went to Kinokyuna in Shinjuku and looking around the store; I found an interesting writer by the name of Yoshiyuki Junnosuke.  It seems Yukio Mishima liked him, and Donald Richie, who is a great expert on 20th century Japanese culture, wrote the introduction to his collection of short stories.  I have a great fondness for Showa era writers in Japan, which is another way of saying the 20th century.  Each decade or longer is always tied to the current Emperor.  It's kind of like we're in the Trump era now in the United States.   The year 2017 will always be confined by the presence of Trump in people's minds.   As for me, I'm a tad hurt that Steve (Bannon) never got back to me on the Trump statue project.  Whatever.  I will get over it.  Reading the first story in this book by Junnosuke is not bad.  Life will go on.

I'm still fighting jet lag, and my only conclusion is to go out of the house as much as possible.  The brisk cold air hitting my face makes me feel alive.  The dark cloud that follows me around is always two feet away from me.  I run fast, but it always catches up.  I'm very much a long distance runner.  I'll beat it.   Back to the book now. 

February 16, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

February 16, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

The lack of sleep makes Tokyo into a city of your mind.  To this day, I'm not sure if it actually exists.   With little sleep, I met two American friends who are visiting the dream capital of desire.  There is something superb about facing the cold air, when utterly exhausted.  The good thing is my fellow countryman are feeling the same thing.   There is a bar next to their businessmen's hotel that has an extensive vinyl selection as well as free drinks.  Why the drinks are free is a question that is not examined too thoroughly.   All three of us are heavily into vinyl.   The other two have never been to Tokyo before, so it was my responsibility to take them to the right spot.

Our first stop was RecoFan.  It's very similar to Amoeba Music in Hollywood in many ways, but smaller in size.  Still, it takes up the entire fourth floor of the building.  Austin is into punk and Ray is into hip-hop and jazz.  I like instrumental bands from the 1960s and have been looking for "The Shadows In Tokyo" LP for the last five or so years.  The thing is, when you expect to find something, you're not going to find it. But when the unexpected happens that is the 'gotcha" moment.  The Enka selection at RecoFan is pretty impressive.  For those who don't know, Enka is a post-war form of music that is very much like a version of Japanese blues but with beautiful orchestration and voice.   There is also at times, a killer electric guitar solo that appears out of nowhere.  It sounds like the guitar is crying.  That type of music hits the spot when you're dead tired, and all you are feeling is emotion.

I couldn't find shit for me, but my fellow companions found stuff that made their eyes pop out of their skulls.  Me, I'm more of the cool type. I try not to show emotion while shopping.   We then went down the block to the Disk Union.   This is a record store in Shibuya (also a few stores in Shinjuku) where each floor caters to the specific type of music.  Again, I wanted the Sixties vinyl, and that is on the third floor, and Ray wanted hip-hop which is in the fourth, and Austin for his punk taste is the fifth.  The basement is jazz, and we decided to meet there in one hour.   "The Shadows in Tokyo" is a very tough LP to find, and lady luck was not smiling down at me.   Meanwhile, Austin came to the basement with five or six 7" singles of various punk bands from his neighborhood back home, and I couldn't see Ray's face due to the various packages he was holding.

At this moment all three of us were confronted with a spiritual feeling of loss and abandonment.   Apparently, we needed to take the Ginza line to Asakusa to the Sensō-ji to renew our faith in chance.  Sensō-ji is Japan's oldest Buddhist temple, and the peaceful aspect is the marketplace leading up to the temple's steps.   This is also the location to get postcards to send back home, as well as various swords.  Since the others had two or three bags of vinyl, it was my responsibility to hold on to the swords.  I put one down my pants, which of course, I have to be very comfortable not to trip, and I carried the other two with both hands.   It's very difficult to walk down the marketplace with the swords because the physical space is very tight due to the large crowd that takes place here.   I did find one postcard here, that had a very nice colorful image of the temple surrounded by cherry blossom trees.  I addressed the card to Stephen Bannon in the care of the White House, Washington DC, telling him "wish you were here."

The three of us ended up in a beer hall, that has been in business since 1926.   All the waiters here are in their 90s, which gives it an old school charm.  As we drank beer, and eat sashimi, we still feel that time is not on our side.  I feel that once I close my eyes, and then reopen them, everything will be gone like it didn't exist.  That is the beauty of Japan.

February 15, 2017 (Tosh's Diary) Japan

Photograph by Tosh Berman

February 15, 2017

The only time I can catch up on some serious cinema is when I fly from Los Angeles to Tokyo.  Singapore Airlines without a doubt has the best film programming.  For instance, I can make a choice between the Tom Cruise "Jack Reacher 2" and "Suicide Squad."  Or due to the long plane flight, I can watch both.     Jared Lato's version of the Joker is nothing compared to Trump's taking on the Joker's characteristics.  President Trump reminds me a bit of "Suicide Squad," because he's much better than the film.  It's interesting that the execution producer of "Suicide Squad"  is Steven Mnuchin, the brand new Secretary of The Treasury.  The other thing I like to watch is the real-time map of the plane going over the Pacific ocean.   I once sat in my seat for 10 hours just glued in front of my own screen watching the Plane I'm on, leaving Los Angeles and eventually arriving in Narita.   

I loathe traveling.  I find it hard to believe that there are people out there that like to deal with their luggage.   I had to push my wife's luggage from one space to the next.  Once we got to our living space in Meguro, she opened up her luggage exposing four boxes of  Trader Joe's cereal brand.  My wife refuses to change her breakfast habit, even when traveling.   I find it insane that she can't find cereal in the local Japanese market here, but she insists on Trader Joe's cereal.   So what can I do, but push her luggage from there to here. 

I suffer from jet-lag which is something horrible. It makes my eyes hurt and of course the headache as well.  They say one should drink a lot of water on the flight, but I usually drink tons of white wine to get through the boredom.    In theory, this may not be the best thing to do, but alas  I have never turned down a free glass of wine on an international flight. 

I haven't been to Tokyo since 2015.  I feel like I'm greeting old friends.  I tend to hang out in the Meguro area of Tokyo, and I see the same shop people - the sake shop, the fish market, and the local coffee shop.  They know my face, and that I tend to disappear, but I always come back.   As I walked home from the local market tonight, I ran into a display of dolls. I'm told by a citizen of Meguro that this is a display to honor 'Girl's Day."   Which reminds me to write to Stephen Bannon to suggest that there should be a girl's day in the U.S.  I know I should give up on Bannon, but I can't help it.  There is something charming about the man.  We do share a love for Italian Futurist culture after all.  Surely something can make this relationship a total go for the both of us. 

February 10, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

February 10, 2017

For my long flight to Tokyo, I need to read a book that will make me forget my misery somewhere, flying over the Pacific Ocean.  Through my e-mail friend, yet a man who refuses to see me, Stephen Bannon, I plan to read Julius Evola.  Bannon has often given praise to Evola, for his views on society and its culture.  His masterpiece is reported to be "Revolt Against the Modern World."  Born in 1898, and died in 1974, this Italian painter and philosopher is known as a Radical Traditionalist.  A major occultist/esotericist of his time, he was a man who embraced the avant-garde arts, such as Futurism and Dadaism as well as a lifetime love for Fascism.   Although he was once close to Mussolini, he was more in line with the Nazis in Germany.  Of course, a man of high intellect becomes a suspicious character in the eyes of SS's Heinrich Himmler, who didn't trust him.    Evola felt Mussolini was too soft of a figure and intellect, and he felt the same way regarding Marinetti and the Futurists.  He preferred the spiritual leanings of the ancient Roman Paganism than to say something like Christianity. 

Bannon and I share an interest in digging deep into the cultural world to discover the foundation of our political beliefs.   Bannon is more attracted to the possibility of seeing Evola's political views becoming a reality in the 21st century.   The intellectual racist is the new man in Washington DC.   Not the President mind you, but it's best when the intellectual whispers secrets to the King.  As for myself, I'm more interested in Evola's theories on tantra sex.  Deep down I could care less about society in general.   I just want to get 'off' in an unusual fashion. 

February 5, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

February 5, 2017

I went for a walk in Downtown Los Angeles, mostly to clear my head.  In my depressive mode, I tend to walk in that neighborhood for the architecture, bars, and to look at the people.  I have to admit that I haven't been happy ever since the President got elected.   I thought I had it in with the Stephen Bannon connection, but like everything else in my life, I'm often invited to the table with the big guys, but of course, it's at the end of the table by the toilets or exit.  It's discouraging because I just want to support myself as a writer, and of course, as a community project, build a Trump statue.  The truth is I don't even like Trump.   I just wanted to do something to bring the country back together again.  For awhile, I was toying with an idea of having a statue made of Trump shaking hands with Hilary Clinton.  But again, I was discouraged by friends and foes who say that is a horrible idea.   I was even open-minded to make a statue of Trump and Putin shaking hands - and that too didn't go off well in my community or the board members (my wife and mom) of my foundation.  

I suspect everything is turning from bad to worse, which is causing me grave feelings of insecurity and depression.  The funny thing is when an election is over, and the guy or girl wins; everyone is Ok, maybe things will get better.  But for whatever reasons, everyone is stressed out or even suffering from anxiety of all sorts.   My soul purpose is to get rid of this sense of loss or feelings of apprehensiveness.  As I walk up Broadway without being conscious of where I am going, I came upon a group of really cute girls.   They were carrying signs.  "Water is Life."  "Pipelines are War Crimes."  I found myself in a March regarding the Standing Rock Indian Reservation and the plan to build the South Dakota Pipeline, on Native American land.  I didn't plan to be there, but here I was, walking among them.   

I realize it's fate that I'm here.  Perhaps the statue is not going to bring people together, but the process of going on marches is what is going to unite us.   As I walk with these people, which first, seemed to be a hundred or so, but more come, block-by-block, that hundred turns to a thousand.  Or perhaps more!  It's an incredible feeling to be with the masses, after spending so much time alone, just thinking about my stupid statue project and my useless writing.  I discover the two most important things in life is being with a vast population for one cause for all, and of course, on Facebook.  Is my happiness around the corner? 

January 31, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

January 31, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

This past week, I wrote several emails to Stephen Bannon, and not once, had he returned my correspondence to him.   I suspect he's a rude man.  Since I got back from Washington DC, I have been sitting in the front of my blank laptop screen and listening to David Ezra Okonsar playing the piano works of Pierre Boulez and Xenakis.   Post-modern thought needs post-modern music.   

A lot of my friends are kind of mad at me because I attempted to organize a non-profit for both the Trump statue and my writing.  I need to study Hubbard's technique in starting an organization because I'm truly failing in that department.    In theory where there is a crisis taking place, and that is apparently happening, the writing should be coming through loud and clear.  I'm no Adorno, but I can have a good thought now and then.  

I do have two board members committed to my foundation.  I called a meeting with my mom and wife, and they are both free for the meeting.  My wife, who is a foreigner has a hard time reading my writings, due that it's not that interesting for her.   My mother is convinced that one only needs to read the first paragraph and the last to get the 'drift' of the piece.   Both are solid board members, but so far they haven't contributed to the yearly board fee.   I now wonder if I should have offered Stephen Bannon a discount?   I don't think it's a good idea because then I would have to give my mom and wife a discount as well.  

Also, I should mention that my idea to organize volunteers for the Trump wall between the United States of America and the country of Mexico is not going so hot either.  I went door-to-door in my neighborhood, and pretty much everyone was very hostile to that idea.  My one and only friend who is a Trump supporter, as well as giving me Bannon's personal e-mail address, showed some interest.  The thing is, his anger is really negative.   He spends his entire energy into the 'send Hillary to prison' movement.    He told me he's often totally wiped out by the early morning (he stays up late) due to tracking down information on Hillary's criminal record through various news websites. 

The news items that he sends me connects the Clinton Foundation to the assassination of John and Robert Kennedy.   Part of that Texas/Russia/Alabama connection that keeps coming up.   For some, the battle is never over.  Even when there is a prison, and they have a prisoner inside the prison cell - some people are never satisfied.  My friend is that way.   Meanwhile, I will try to stay focus on my end of the world.  Which at this time, is not much happening. 

January 26, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

January 26, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

Stephen Bannon.  The man who rejected me, but I didn't dear sir, rejected you.  My understanding is that he's very much the architect of Donald Trump's vision.  In a way, he's like Mick Ronson to David Bowie or Billy Strayhorn to Duke Ellington.  Without Bannon, Trump may not be able to do what he must do, whatever that is?

When the country is under stress, it's best to do things that will bring the country back together.  A sense of focus.  It's crucial for all of us to chose the path, and all must follow it to the conclusion.  Therefore I thought maybe I should forget about building a statue in honor of Trump, but instead, help him build the wall between Mexico and the United States.  Because without a doubt, this wall will very much be the lasting tribute to Trump.  I suspect that the wall itself, once built, will be called "Trump Wall."  Not very poetic, but easy to remember.

As I sat in my living room, with a glass of cold beer (been drinking early in the day), I have thought what I can do as a citizen.   Should I volunteer to help build the wall?  It's going to expensive.  Maybe organize a fund-raiser for the wall?   For sure, I don't think our taxes should pay it.  Citizens should be paying this wall by either donating their services, serving cold beer on the sidelines, or supplying the tools such as shovels, tractors, and so forth.  There is no reason why this can't be a positive thing, with all of us, working together.

January 24, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

January 24, 2017

The last couple of days has been hard.  I hitchhiked back to Los Angeles after going to Washington DC in the hopes of seeing Stephen Bannon, who either refused to see me or just forgot about me.   More likely just a  member of the forgotten category in his life.   It was hard getting back, and I will never hit the road like that in such a manner where I have to depend on the kindness of strangers with a moving vehicle. 

On top of that, I got a cold.  At times, when I feel sorry for myself, I felt the cold was my just reward for trying to do something positive in this world.   I won't give up the Trump statue idea, but I will put it on the back burner for now.   I suspect in four years there will be various statues of Trump throughout the country.   Who knows, perhaps when he passes away (he's mortal), they will build a huge Trump Memorial in Washington DC.   Or at the very least, change the name of the XL and Dakota Access oil pipelines as  "The Trump Life Lines."  

At the moment, I have to make some hard decisions regarding my writing career.  Should I start up a non-profit organization focusing on me and my writings?  It's manifestly obvious that my work is needed, and to advance my thoughts, writing, and philosophy I do need a board of directors.  Bannon didn't work out, but that is how the cookie crumbles.  Can't cry over spilled oil.   Also, I think I need to think locally, instead of nationally.  It's a big country out there, and I'm just a man with a brain with two legs, and two arms.   I can do a lot, but not as much as a rich man.  I have to accept my limits.   But within those limits, it is my property.   And I will master my territory.  

January 20, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

January 20, 2017

Today sucks.  The whole trip sucked.   I suck.  They suck.  One big sucking noise.   First of all, I apologize for not keeping up the diary for the last couple of days.   To save dough, I had to hitchhike to Washington DC - and someone should have reminded me that hitchhiking in the winter is not the grandest idea.   I did dress warmly, but I should have purchased more socks at UNIQLO.  My shoes got wet, as well as the socks.  I was an idiot to wear Converse tennis shoes for this trip.  But I wanted to be comfortable.  Wrong.  I brought a few days of clothing with me, and two notebooks, and one working ball-point pen.   When I'm in a work mode, I live like a minimalist.  Not a well-designed minimalist mind you, but one who doesn't bring the extra dry pair of socks.   

The first impression of my trip to back east is that this country is not that hot.   I was hoping to see the grandness of the states I went through, but to be perfectly honest, it was mostly darkness due to the nighttime, and sleeping with my mouth wide open in someone's back seat, and then there was the truck.   A driver picked me up somewhere in Arizona and told me he was going to travel far, and I could stay in the back of his open air truck.  So I got rained and snowed on, and oddly enough I didn't get a cold. I think when one is determined like I'm, one doesn't get sick.  I have this strong Ayn Rand streak in me that I just go forward and hell with everything else. 

I arrived in Washington DC yesterday.  Dumpy town.  Parts of it looks like an abandoned movie set.  So it's cool in that fashion.  I arranged to go to an AirBnB which was a room with no furniture whatsoever.  I asked the owner if I could use the kitchen.  To give them credit, they were very straightforward and said "no" to me.   The same goes for the laundry.  "No."  What I did get was an empty room with no carpeting and the use of a toilet that was in a gas station a block away.  On the other hand, the price was pretty cheap.  So that's good.  

Once I got myself settled in the new place, I e-mailed Steve (Bannon) to let him know I'm here and ask him if he could meet me at Baja Fresh which is located at 1990 K St NW, Washington, DC 20006.   I thought it might be close to the Inauguration events, and therefore easier for him to get there.   He didn't respond.   I then added that I would treat him to lunch.   I gave him time and told him I'd be waiting for him.   

I easily found the restaurant and ordered a side dish of guacamole and chips.  Which I have to say is excellent.   One can taste the mixture of garlic and lime in the guacamole, which for me, made it unique.  Of course, the portion is small, so I mostly took my time by taking a bite every ten minutes or so.  And to be honest, I wasn't that hungry.  While sitting there, I took my notebook and pen out and wrote some notes to myself.  I knew it was important to get my ideas to Steve quickly because for sure he's a busy man.   But I just want to point out to him that I desire his services as a board member, and I should remind him that he's responsible for the finances of the non-profit, which again, is to serve me as a writer, with a side-project of building a Trump statue.  My goals are clear and even simple.   I feel confident that my 'pitch' is going to work well.  

I wrote to him to meet me at 1 PM.  As soon as it got to 1:30, I decided to write him another email from my I-Phone.   Just letting him know that I'm here, and if he wants me to order some food for him, so he doesn't have to waste time standing in line.   I wrote to him again at 2 PM.  Then another at 2:30.   At this point, I decided I should order a burrito and more chips because the people who work here are starting to give me those looks.  

Eventually, I ordered coffee after I ate the burrito.  I stayed there until 4 PM.  I compulsively checked my e-mails, but not one e-mail came to me, except notices from Pen USA to remind me to resubscribe.   There is that funny moment when one realizes that things are not going to work out today.  I left Baja Fresh, but first, I put in a $2 tip into their jar by their counter.   I then walked out into the wintery early evening. 

January 17, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

January 17, 2017

Good news!  My Trump loving friend hooked me up with Stephen Bannon.  I wrote an email to my pal, and he promised to forward it to Bannon.  What I wrote to him was that I'm interested in having him be part of my Board of Directors to sponsor and support my writing.  And as an additional goal of the foundation will be to build a Trump statue in the Sliver Lake Meadows.  He wrote back to me, writing that he would be interested in meeting me, and if it's possible, could I come to the Inauguration this coming Friday.  As a guest of course, but I will have to pay for my flight, hotel bill, food and stuff like that.  But he said that I would be invited to the ball and one of the dinners that will take place that evening.   

I looked at my calendar for January 20, and I see I have nothing planned for that day, except to visit the Glendale Galleria to buy some much-needed socks at UNIQLO.  I checked the 19, and that can be the day for sock shopping, so I wrote back to Bannon and told him yes, I would love to attend.  At this point, my imagination is going beyond excited.  I imagine that over this weekend, I can arrange to have Bannon as part of my board, but also maybe even meet President Trump and perhaps get some funding for the statue.  One of the things I have learned through life is that things can go up and down.  For me, it's mostly down.  But when an 'up' comes or arrives, one has to ride that wild wave that is called life. 

January 16, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

January 16, 2017

My friend promised me that he could connect me to Stephen Bannon.  If I can get Bannon to agree to become part of my board of directors, perhaps even the chair position, that would be fantastic.   He clearly knows how to raise money, or find money for a non-profit like mine, and also who knows, maybe even get funding for my (our) Trump Statue for the Silver Lake Meadow Park.    According to my friend, the hardcore Trump supporter, Bannon is the guy-to-go-to, for getting things done.  

The reason why I wanted to build the Trump statue was in the hopes of bringing people together.   Right now, the landscape in America is pretty insane.   We have the Anti-Democratic Party people who once belonged to the party but feel gypped, along with the Sanders people who felt cheated, and therefore are lost in the woods, and then on top of that, we have individuals who don't support any political party and are totally confused by Trump's victory.   And then there are the Democrats who are rapidly moving towards McCarthy era Republicans stance, while Republicans are siding with the Russians. Then there are the Republicans who are waiting behind the curtain to stab you-know-who in the back eventually.   Also, we have Republicans who are against Obamacare but haven't the foggiest idea how to replace it or even why - and then there are those who are racist, but also at the same time like world music.  On top of that, we have a current President, who is much admired and missed (even though he's still in office for another five days) and apparently a good man, but after eight years brought us all to this.  To be honest, I'm very confused what's happening to Planet United States of America.  That is why it's important to build a Trump Statue in the park, where neighbors, their children, dogs, and wildlife can meditate on the Trump world.  

Of course, there has to be the foundation to support my writing.  One of the people I admire is Ron L. Hubbard.  Not long ago, actually around a similar time now (the cold-war) he started a non-profit group to support his writing/thoughts.   I think it's clearly the time for me to fill the void that's there now and bring the folks back together.   But first, I have to return a library book, due that today is the due date. 

January 15, 2017 (Tosh's Diary)

January 15, 2017

Last night I had a dream that gave me a great idea.   Before I went to sleep last night, I was listening to a recording by the Jack Quartet, who focuses on contemporary music.   When I went to their website, I read that they are actually a non-profit organization.   As I dreamed last night, I came to the conclusion that I started my own non-profit to back my work as a writer.   When I woke up to pee at around 3:42 in the morning (I have a digital clock in the bedroom) I thought this was a fantastic idea. 

The Trump statue project is depressing me because I can’t seem to get it started.  But to start up a company that’s the main purpose is for people to invest, or a better word, donate money to my career as a writer is a brilliant one.  The beauty of the donation is that since I’m non-profit, it can be a tax write-off for the donator.  Therefore easier to get funds and budget together.   One thing I have noticed throughout my life is the big difference between me and the other guy/gal down the street is that I have ideas.   It doesn’t make me better than them, but just a tad smarter. 

The key thing regarding my career is that I don’t work for another person.  One thing I’m an expert on is me, and how “me” looks at the world.  Clearly, there is a need for someone like me to give the ‘me’ perspective to readers and fans alike.   The first order of business for the day is to put together a board of directors together.   Every non-profit organization has a board, where the members are financially responsible for that organization.  In theory, they are accountable to make sure the organization is funded adequately and that they keep notes to all official meetings.  Which by law, I think the Board of Directors has to meet, at the very least, once a year.  My first thought is to get my wife on the board, my mom, a few publishers I know who are devoted to my work, and maybe a lawyer or two.  People are impressed if you have a lawyer on your board.  It shows that you’re not messing around.  And maybe one celebrity.  Since the Trump Statue is not doing so hot (but it will be !). I’m thinking of getting a key member of the Donald Trump world into my organization on the board.  My first thought is getting Stephen Bannon on my board.  Logic thinks that he at least reads.   He does own a website.  This could be a plus for me.  

I have one friend who is an outright Trump supporter, and he told me that he knows Bannon.  I wonder if I can reach Bannon through my friend.  If I get him to commit to the board and at the very least, go to one meeting per year, I think this is a win-win for me.  We will see….