May 7, 2014

May 7, 2014

The one thing that really rubs me the wrong way is that I don’t live in a palace. I loathe small apartments or houses.   What really makes me sick to my stomach are those who take pride in their little shacks and fix-em-ups.  My ideal address to live would be the Palace of Versailles.  To enter the main entrance and hear Beethoven’s beautiful Ninth Symphony as you walk in, and having a servant greeting you at the door, well, that is heaven.

I don’t live in such an environment due to finances that are no longer in my control.  Basically I worked my whole life in retail.  I generally don’t understand why someone who works 40 hours a week, cannot have their dream palace.  Of course, running a home like Versailles would be awfully expensive, but still, to be in a position to wander from hallway to room to hallway, like forever, is a dream that is in my head.

Since I don’t sleep that well, more likely I would take walks in the garden of Versailles.  The only thing I would add to the garden is statures of saints, or at least saints that are part of my life.  Jerry Nolan of the New York Dolls, Johannes Brahms, film director Ishirō Honda, author Angela Carter, and my favorite western movie sidekick, Gabby Hayes.

As I write, the tears in my eyes are clouded over my sight, yet in my heart I can see that I deserve a better place.  Right now I’m writing a memoir and the only location where I feel comfortable to write such a book is at the Los Angeles Downtown Library on fifth and Flower.  It is not exactly like the Versailles, but for me, I have never been in a large decorative building before.  I try to imagine that I live here by myself, and often have fantasies what it must be like to roam through the rooms here at 3 A.M.

Homes like the Downtown Library and Versailles totally turn-off the world outside, which on a daily basis is a world that is not to my liking.  I’m also fascinated that none of the bathrooms in the library have mirrors.  It is like one cannot reflect on one’s appearance, but instead, you reflect oneself on the architecture and books that are located in the library.  The mirrored halls of Versailles were made to follow up on oneself as you walk down the hallway.  But here, I only have my imagination at work, and therefore the perfect location to work on my masterpiece.