July 21, 2014
To be honest, I’m very much influenced by the misery that is in the world. For what I do, I need despair on a political and criminal level. The horror of the bombings in Gaza as well as the commercial flight being shot down over Ukraine is fuel for my writing. Without it, I do not have a thing to write about. At this level, it becomes pornography. I have seen so many images of death, that it has become meaningless to me. As an artist I rather see a representation of death, then an actual obliteration of a human being, animal and architecture. I imagine being a journalist in a war or disaster area, and telling the story through one’s eyes, has to be a difficult skill. There is a need to distance oneself from what they are seeing to get a clear picture with respect to what that they’re reporting on. Data facts are significant as well. One just has to note the correct number of deaths, and buildings destroyed. If one makes a mistake, it can throw off your whole story.
Often the problem is that we are looking at that singular tree, instead of the massive volume of forest around that tree. This same problem happens when one is writing or doing art as well. It is almost impossible to stay neutral when the world in front of you is being destroyed or changed radically. Also the feeling of things not changing but just repeating itself over and over again, is a frustration in motion. It’s like being trapped in a television show, where you pretty much know what is going to happen at the end of the episode. Yet, we keep watching it because the format gives one some sort of comfort that there is an order out there that will make everything to reach its natural conclusion. The thing is, I don’t believe there is an order in this world. I think every culture has a bit of self-destruction tendencies because it is somewhat embedded in our DNA. This I thinks is what causes strife, horror, or in other words, Pandora’s Box.
I have a fear of doing something that will make things worst. I think a lot of people feel that way. Yet there are a large percentage of people who jump in to something and ask questions later. The impulse to jump into the fire is actually sexy, especially if one is doing it to feel more vibrant or even out of curiosity. So when you do get that beautiful box or container and you know you shouldn’t open it, but alas, you do. Well, that's human nature. Between you and me, I never cared for human nature that much.
Acts of violence are never a good solution to a problem. I understand the violent act, it can be satisfying to step over that line that separates insanity and sanity, but the circumstances of such an act can or more likely cause severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences. I refrain from feeling regret, so therefore I pretty much ignore all my impulses in committing any acts of violence. But on the other hand I don’t mind using violence in a narrative that I am writing or have or will have used in my work. I like realism, but only in the context that it is made in a studio or on the page. The French had a loose film movement called “poetic realism” where one recreates realism in a stylized fashion, and usually filmed in a film studio. This, serves my sense of aesthetic and therefore I want to take the horrors that are out there, and re-arrange them to suit my purpose, either for narration sake or an aesthetic image. As the world crumbles, I believe “art for art’s sake” becomes more important to me.