October 30, 2014

October 30, 2014

“Nobody picks on a strong man.” So maybe I was just asking for it.   I have always been ashamed of my body, even though I was skinny, I still had a tummy sticking out.  Even as a child, I can’t stand seeing myself without a shirt.  I notice that from my waist up, right to the chin area is my weakest part of the body - both aesthetically as well as in strength.  Everyday when I was in both junior and in High School, I faced shame on a daily basis, when I had to take a shower with the other boys.   The first thing I noticed is how physically strong my fellow male students were.  They ran faster, picked up things heavier without a thought, as well as being able to do push and pull-up’s without even thinking about it.  I, on the other hand, had to struggle doing even one push-up.  I remember the gym teacher and the other kids in my class, laughing at me almost on a regular basis.   My only escape was Saturday and Sunday, where I didn’t have to go to school.

One day I went to the beach in Venice, with a girl I really liked.  It was in the afternoon and the sun was really hot.  My skin is white, and usually I don’t spend any time in the outdoors, and of course my body shows the lack of natural sunlight as well as physical work.  My daily exercise is picking up a book and making a frown if I don’t like what I was reading.  On the other hand, my date that afternoon is or was a true beauty.  What now comes to mind is 37-23-38, which pretty much describes my interest in her at the time.  When we got to the beach, she was wearing a light plaid cotton dress.  As I set the blanket down on the sand, I took my pants off, which exposed my baggy swimming trunks.  She took off her dress, and she was wearing black bikini top and bottom.  I instantly felt an erection and I made sure to be laying on my stomach as fast as possible.  I fully don’t understand how one can avoid the inherent aspect of seeing women on the beach and not having, or controlling one’s erection.  As I was talking with her, I noticed all of a sudden my side of the blanket became shaded.  Obviously there was an object that made an appearance, and that object was blocking the direct sunlight.  As I looked up, I noticed a young man, very well-built and wearing black speedos, looking directly at her.   He then looked straight at me as he talked to my date.   He told her that he had a blanket and shade as well as a cooler of beer, and would she like to join him.  She said yes, and as I was trying to get up from my position, he took his foot and knocked me down. In fact, he kept his foot on my back.  She laughed, and got up, took her dress and went towards him.  He eventually removed his foot, but not before he kicked sand in my face.  “See ya later young man, ” he laughed.  In fact, both of them were laughing at me.

I made an effort to act cool, but I was so hurt.  But I didn’t leave right away, I stayed on my blanket like nothing happened.  When I got back later that afternoon, I became furious.  I kicked a chair across the room, and I even got madder, knowing how brave I am with resect to wooden objects.  It was at that moment that I noticed an ad in the back of a special DC comic book edition of “Bane, ” that ironically enough was on the chair that I just knocked over.  I looked at it closely, and I was taken by the image of a man with muscles, in conjunction with an image of a male who was skinny and pathetic looking.   The phrase “How Joe’s Body Brought Him Fame Instead of Shame” caused an emotional turn-around for me.  I had a stamp and $30 and mailed it to the address that was located in the ad.

I received a booklet and it explained that I didn’t need weights, but just exercise on a daily basis, and only for fifteen minutes per day. “15 minutes a day!  Give me just this and I’ll prove I can make you a new man.” The schedule appealed to me as well.   The author, Charles Atlas, mentioned he got inspired when he was at the zoo, and he saw a lion in the cage stretching.  He wrote: “Does this old gentleman (the lion) have any barbells, any exercisers? … And it came over me,… He’s been pitting one muscle against another! ”

Atlas’ “Dynamic Tension” program consists of twelve lessons and one final perpetual lesson.  Each lesson is fully illustrated with Atlas doing the exercise.   I did this for two weeks and already I saw some improvement.  About two weeks after the improvement, I went back to the beach, and I saw my “ex” as well as the guy who kicked sand in my face.  As I walked by his ‘area, ” I on purpose walked on his stomach.  He got up quickly, and glared at me.  I told him, “Oh I’m sorry, but you were laying down and I needed to go in that direction.” He said I could have easily went around him and his blanket. I said “yes, but I really didn’t want to do that, and I see no reason why I have to go “around” your blanket or your presence.” I then spitted in his eye, and told him to get a clearer view of me.  I then flexed my muscles in front of him, and made sure he saw my ass as well.  He backed down, and I felt great when he looked towards his feet, avoiding eye contact with me.  And she just smiled at me, with approving eyes.  I then walked on their blanket and kept going, towards the ocean.  I felt so strong, at that time, I wanted to jump into the ocean and swim to Japan.