October 4, 2014
“I long ago came to the conclusion that all life is 6 to 5 against.” I have to tell ya, I’m at the end of my rope, and it fits my neck perfectly. But that’s OK because I’m keeping my eye on the ball, and I’m not going to lose that ball. So far, I have put out two books: “Sparks-Tastic” and “The Plum in Mr. Blum’s Pudding.” One work is a non-fiction account of yours truly following a band (Sparks) I love in London, and the other book is a collection of poetry written in Japan. At this point and time, and looking at my bank balance, I really need to win the Nobel Prize in Literature.
I haven’t worked at a paying job since 2012. At this time I have lived on my wit and charm, but that can only go so far in today’s world. I somehow managed to purchase (well borrowed to be honest) money to pay an one-way ticket to Tokyo, hopefully to find not really an adventure, but some sort of moolah. My only talent is to be able to write. I’m really bad at showing up at work, or even working with co-workers. Usually I’m despised by my fellow citizens of the time-clock, and I mostly made some dough on the side, by running an on-going crap game in the employee room at a certain retail store, even to this day, I can’t mention.
I’m sort of the guy who came from nowhere - and I wasn’t going anywhere, but somehow I got I kicked off somewhere. At times, I feel like the dice is loaded, but not towards my favor. So dear people, my readers, and Facebook friends - I just need to ask you a favor.
I really do need to win the Nobel Prize in Literature, and I can’t wait till next year, because there may not be a next year for me. It needs to be this year. Now, as I see it, my main competitor is the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami. I actually came to Tokyo to plead with him to not to accept the award if he is the chosen one. I ask, because basically I need the attention, and even more important the cash prize that goes with this award. As I last heard, the award amount is now $1,100,000.00. Now, if I get the award (and the money) this will enable me to do nothing but write. I know you people out there are enjoying my daily postings on my blog and Facebook, and I just have to remind you that I’m not being paid for this work. I did have an agreement with Facebook C.E.O. Mark Zuckerberg to get a certain amount of payment if people out there pushed “like” on my page. Sadly I didn’t get enough “likes” for his taste. That is what I get for working for a guy who was born in 1984 ... if you get my drift.
So now, I must call upon you. All of you. I want you to write a letter or e-mail to the Swedish Academy in Sweden and comment that “Tosh Berman should win this year’s Nobel Prize in Literature.” That is all you have to mention. I did send copies of my book to the Academy so they know who I am. I know that some members of the Swedish Academy even “liked” my page. Also, if you can, please do “like” this post, because that too could bring attention to the Swedish Academy. Also it has been noted that the Academy has at times awarded writers who lean to the left. Well, I’m here to let you know that I’m a hardcore leftie. I don’t believe in any political party in the United States. Pro two state solution for Israel and Palestine (hardcore pro-Palestine by the way), and for every left wing movements that took place in Central, South, and North America. So I should fit in their category of a writer who does ‘good’ in their writing.
Here is their address:
The Swedish Academy
P.O. Box 2118
SE-103 13 Stockholm
Their e-mail address is email@example.com
Do write to them, and tell them that you demand that Tosh Berman should win the Nobel Prize for Literature. Come on people. You have read my books, you have enjoyed my daily writings here, so please do something and help support a fellow writer. A fellow artist. A fellow human being.
Also if you can “like” (if you’re reading this on Facebook) this post, it may help me as well.
Thank you (in advance),