The Prisoner in Lockdown

 

It's very moving and odd at the same time to watch "The Prisoner" during lockdown mode. I'm now committed to watching the entire series in order, and it's a pleasure to return home. I get a great sense of comfort in knowing that No. 6 is outsmarting his captors in such a brilliant and funny manner. I understand the pleasures of such shows as "Columbo," but oddly enough, the show doesn't give me pleasure anymore. Still, "The Prisoner" is something I can watch over and over again, and it seems to open up a different emotional response from me. I love the setting of the Village, but I also love the clothing. Such as khaki pants, tennis shoes, a turtleneck shirt, a jacket with white border-lapels, and trimmings. All of it makes great sense to me. Lockdown life made bearable for me. -Tosh Berman.

Friday, December 4, 2020

 Just when one thinks life is getting better, I wake up with the news that there are 7,854 new cases of the virus in the County of Los Angeles. With 44 deaths. One can enjoy Noir films and novels, but we are truly living in a Noir period of time in the world. Now, we don't have to pretend or fantasize about such a landscape. It's here and now. The past nine-months seem to be like living in a 1950s Science-fiction film or a noir film about spreading the virus. I try to put myself in a literary or cinematic mode, but the horrific truth is that it's authentic. I can't turn off the images or the presence of the virus. I have dreams of being in crowded situations, such as a market or party. One person complains about feeling ill, and then another, and one more, etc. Oddly enough, it doesn't make me panic, nor do I feel fear. More of a disappointment in the sense that you see that package under the Xmas tree, and it's for you. You imagine it's the gift you always want, but once you open the present, it's something else. And it's not better than what you imagined for a better world. Remind yourself to take care of not only yourself but also think of others. -

Tosh Berman

June 5, 2020 (In The Year of the Trump Virus)

June 5, 2020 (In The Year of the Trump Virus)

Today there are 1,445 new cases, and 36 died today from the Trump Virus.  Atwater Village, my neighboring community, is remaining the same with 52 cases total, but where I live, Silver Lake now has 204 cases.   It was under 200 yesterday for Silver Lake.  Glendale, not that far from me, has 1,040 cases total, and today there are eight more who are confirmed to have the virus. Another person died as well, so now the death is 92.  The total in the County of Los Angeles is 61,045 cases and 2,565 deaths.

For me, this reads stay at home and keep away from people. Yet, people do need to live and eat, and therefore they take chances by going back to work and opening businesses.  People who do go out in the world are not only endangering their health, but also others.  Dog eats dog, but do they like the taste of the virus in their mouth?

Lun*na, throughout the afternoon, has been working on the Philip Guston video I made for Artbook / D.A.P.   That should be finished by tonight, and then I will send it off to their main office in New York or their remote workspace.  Do offices even exist in this world?

I'm dismayed in hearing about the Police in Buffalo New York and how they are handling the demonstrators.   There are reports that the Police knocked down a senior citizen who found himself on the pavement with blood coming out of his ear.   The attitude of the Police was to walk past him, but a police officer or two were called for their actions.  Amazingly enough, the entire police squad resigned in support of their fellow cops.  Does one wonder if they work for the public's behalf or support their family, the gang, known as the Police?

June 3, 2020 (In the Year of the Trump Virus)

June 3, 2020 (In the Year of the Trump Virus)

For the past two months, my neighbor's cat has been visiting us regularly.  She hangs out by our front door, and I have spent a great deal of time hanging out with the cat on our front steps. I don't allow the cat inside, due to my wife is allergic to cat fur.  Still, when I work outside, she comes to the backyard and hangs with me. She craves attention, so I often spend time petting and chatting with her.  I haven't had a pet cat or dog since I was a child. I moved around a lot, so I never felt the need to have an animal as a pet. Also, I feel weird about owning an animal.  I know having a pet around can make you feel good, but there is something wrong about owning a living creature that bothers me to the core of my being.  Saying that now, I'm nervous that the cat is not around anymore. I looked forward to seeing her, and I don't even mind her meowing for an hour.  Her sounds are perfume to my senses.

As I write, people are demonstrating in various parts of Los Angeles and the world.  Mostly peaceful, and the other day, on my way to my mother's house to drop off some goods, I saw a bunch of kids with their parents doing their version of a march in the neighborhood.  Things may move on, but I do feel that there is significant damage to President Virus, and he may not survive this time.  I say that, because I sense a mood in the air, and I think people are tired of his lies, lack of character, and just being under the attack of this over-grown spoiled child in a man's body.

Today, I worked on a Philip Guston video talk, which hopefully will take place tomorrow.   I'm also working on a film script, and I need to make some significant changes in its structure.  I never worked with other people in a writing job, and I'm learning a lot in how to compromise and hopefully make a better script. I feel like F. Scott Fitzgerald or William Faulkner when they were hired by a Hollywood studio to become a scriptwriter.   The glamour of such work is a turn-on for me.  It's different from working by yourself for a book project or essay.

As of this writing (5 PM ), there are 1,155 new cases of the virus and 46 deaths in Los Angeles County.

June 2, 2020 (In The Year of the Trump Virus)

June 2, 2020 (In The Year of the Trump Virus)

I got up (too) early to go to Trader Joe's for their matinee senior hour.  Once we got there, I saw only one line to go in, so we stood in line.  The woman in front of us told me that there is a senior section where you can go in right away.  I thanked her, which was very kind of her to point this out to me, and then it came to my attention that I now look like a senior to the outside world.  My life until this point, people mention how young I looked, but alas, that is now not the case anymore.

Once you get into the entrance, they spray some liquid on to your hands, and you're free to roam in the store, but you must follow the directional arrows, which I do with great passion. I realize that what makes me happy is to be told what to do. I'm crazy about that. I love people giving me directions, and I follow their floorplan or design.  Being a life-long Jacques Tati fan, I admire how individuals fit into the overall design.  There's a sign in the store that said no more than five individuals in this aisle.  I thought that was perfect.  I counted four people, and then I jumped into that space, as happy as a bee approaching a flower.

I go to Trader Joe's for the sole purpose of buying Charles Shaw wine.  We get a month's supply of wine, which is three-cases.  I can't have dinner without white wine of some sort, and then while watching a show, nowadays it's "Babylon Berlin," I have a glass of Merlot.  After the show, I get a second glass and meditate on the past 24-hours.  It's not a quiet meditation.  It's a horror show.

As I write, things are happening that are not good.  The Trump Virus is raging. Yesterday it was 978 new cases and 22 deaths from the virus. Today there are 1,202 new cases and 60 deaths from the virus in the County of Los Angeles. When I go out, I see more people are feeling relaxed about social distances and wearing masks. For the last four days or so, no one talks about this, at least in the media, due to the police killing of Black Americans. It's interesting to note in Los Angeles County; there are 394 Asians, 265 Blacks, 917 Hispanic/Latinos, and 643 Whites who died so far from the virus. When someone dies either from murder or an infection, how each death affects their community - among friends, co-workers, family members, and so on.  The world is not good to us.  On the other hand, we're not good for the world.  - Tosh Berman

Amoeba Music Needs our Help

One can tell from reading my blog that I'm a mega-fan of Amoeba Music.  Their Hollywood location is a magnet for my attention and physical well being.  I have purchased much but also treated this store as a museum.   Due to the Trump Virus, Amoeba needs financial help in paying bills.  Please donate if you can, or at the very least, purchase their music through their website.  Click on "Amoeba Music Needs Help link down below, and contribute.  Merci, Tosh

Amoeba Music Needs Help

April 1, 2020 (In the Year of the Trump Virus)

April 1, 2020 (In the Year of the Trump Virus)

The day went fast. There is a disconnection when I read people’s posts on Facebook, and they are looking for things to do and/or finding enjoyable activity. But for me, I feel very busy at work, and I realize that it is contained in one’s home is usually my typical landscape. Because I’m a writer and was a publisher, the majority of my work took place in my home office. What I do miss is going to the library in Downtown Los Angeles to do work. I noticed when I leave the house to do writing, it feels like work, and therefore what I produced in the library there is something different from what I do at the home office.

Luck has it, I have a paying job staying home, and it’s a writing job. As my dad used to say regarding financial troubles, “The curtain is about to Fall.”  Well, that is precisely my situation until I got this job. It’s a great project, and I’m happy to be involved in something so interesting to me. Still, depression lurks due to hearing people passing away, which is unbelievably sad. One of my favorite films is “Barry Lyndon,” and I remember a scene where Barry joined the Army, and he is told to charge the opposite Army, but everyone in his troop is getting shot down, yet he must keep going onward. The scene is funny but very black humor as he looks at the person by his side get shot, and the fellow in the back of him, being shot, as well as the one in the front, and so forth. Every time I open the computer, I hear of another’s passing, and all of it is just terrible. Death gets closer, and already I have friends who are going through the misery of someone’s death, if not from their family.

My generation, and I was a child/teenager, went through the Vietnam War, but this is the first time I have experienced something that is felt worldwide. The sense of dread or suffering is something that we all share, and I know it’s odd, but I’m almost happy to be part of the world at this time. If I have a good day, I feel I can bring that to the world. Which reading this sounds egotistical, but I genuinely want to entertain you. Have a great evening, and stay at home as much as possible. As one gathers, you can’t really trust President Virus, so use common sense, and with fingers crossed and being aware, we will get through this odd nightmare.

March 28, 2020 (In The Year of the Trump Virus)

March 28, 2020 (In the Year of the Trump Virus)

A strange juxtaposition of clean air and nasty virus, as I take a walk around my residential block here in Los Angeles.  The last few days have been very stressful due that my 88-year old Uncle had to go to the ER at Kaiser.  My fear is two-folded:  My Uncle and his 85-year old Sister, my mom.  On an everyday basis, if I have even a slight cold, I try to stay away from their presence.  With the help from my wife and my Uncle's partner, I take care of both of them.  Mostly handling the numerous hospital visits as well as doing the regular laundry for my mom.  That is my role as the only child son, and I take the responsibility very seriously.  Therefore when the Coronavirus struck Los Angeles, I pretty much stayed in our house and communicated through the phone and computer.   Both my mom and Uncle live in the neighborhood, so it's not that difficult to see them both in either a visit or emergency.   Concerning my mom, I bring wine and bread to her front porch.  Call her.  Then when she comes to the porch, I wave to her across the street.

Usually, when my Uncle needs to stay in the hospital, I wait in the waiting room, or come on daily visits, and also when they call me in to pick him up.  Now, one can only drop the patient off, and you have to go back home, or in other words, there is no hanging out at the hospital.  This is reasonable, but then that means I have to stay near the cell phone in case there is news or the medical team asks a question.  So one is on call 24/7, which is basically why I travel very little now and stay in Los Angeles.

The good news is that he was tested twice, and both came out negative. So, that is a huge relief.  My wife and I are trying to beat the clock to fix up our studio apartment downstairs for my Uncle and partner.  30-hours ago, there was the possibility of us taking him to our home last night.   But we have no bed, and on top of that, we would have to take the Oxygen machine (ventilator) from his home to our house.  Where he lives is on the side of a hill, with a steep staircase, which even gives me the willy. If you read my memoir, you'll get the drift.  Nevertheless, talking to the administrator at Kaiser, we both decided it was best that he was taken home by ambulance and assistants to take him downstairs and then to his bed.  So, I engineered a lot of this by staying home, but with a great deal of help from Kaiser as well as my Uncle's partner.

Last night was the first night of not sleeping in dread fear of what will happen next.  Yes, the air feels fantastic, and the plants look lively, but there is a mood that puts a dark shadow across the landscape.

March 21, 2020 (In the year of the Trump Virus)

March 21, 2020 (In the year of the Trump Virus)

Usually, at dusk, and for the last few days, there have been teenage lovers/friends meeting up at the front of our home, near a vacant lot.  There is a sense of urgency in their body communication.  Sometimes it is male teenagers, or females together as well.  Late last night, I heard voices from my office at home and looked outside the window to see five young guys smoking, talking, and standing very close together.  The 65-year old man that is me wanted to yell out, "Hey, 6 feet apart guys."  I didn't do that, because it would have been absurd to them.  More likely, they would ignore me.  They do know the drill.  That is why they are meeting there at 1:00 in the morning, away from prying eyes and ears.  I went to bed with their distant voices in the background as I fell asleep.

This is the fifth day of being isolated from everyone, and it's not as bad as one thinks.  I have my wife here and a case of Charles Shaw wine, which is quickly disappearing.  We're doing Amazon Prime at the moment, because we are getting it free, due to trial use.  We buy things at bulk on Amazon as well as at various online markets.  We originally purchased tons of toilet paper due to the substantial discount.  The thing is before the virus hit Los Angeles in such a manner, we ordered toilet paper, but instead, we got 64 rolls of paper towels.  So, like many other citizens of Los Angeles, we do hunt for toilet paper.  As of now, we have three rolls, and we consider ourselves lucky. -Tosh Berman