Tosh's Journal: September 20 (Love[sex]Dolls)

TOSH’S JOURNAL
September 20

There’s a hotel in Echo Park that I go to, and it is called “The Hotel for Lost Men.” This hotel is made for middle-aged men, to dwell in a passion where no one is watching or making demands on them. It is based on a series of ‘love’ hotels in Osaka, Japan, but this one has a twist. What you get is a room, but also a sex doll. And this is not just any sex doll, but one that if you touch it, you swear it’s human skin, and even the eyes look real. A unique blend of high-quality silicone has been applied to create the doll. Each doll is made with a skeletal structure. Their skin is “soft to the touch, and the doll’s breasts have been modified to enable a softer, more realistic touch and feel.”

I go to this hotel because by nature; I’m a shy man. Also, I don’t require a relationship because I find them annoying. If I wish to relate to another person or girl, I can do that easily with my post office clerk, or the young girl behind the counter at Starbucks. Human communication or one-on-one, of course, is essential for some, but for me, all my inner-thoughts are enough. I never feel lonely. I don’t desire companionship. I don’t want heart-to-heart conversation; I desire to stick my penis in a doll.

With that in mind, “The Hotel for Lost Men” is on a side-street, in the hills of Echo Park. The structure looks like housing from Walt Disney’s “Snow White and the 7 Drawfs, and in fact, it is suspected that Disney built these structures for his workers, due that his studio was close to these homes. Once you walk in, you are in the lobby, where you can see the various dolls. For instance, there is a doll who dresses like a hotel receptionist, and you can go up to her and order a doll and room. There is a giant menu which lists all the girl dolls, with photographs of course, and a picture of the room as well. Prices are listed as well as if you want to rest (two to three hours) or spend the night. There are various types of rooms one can order. Some are over-the-top, like “Sade’s bedroom,” or “Mustang Ranch Fantasy,” and so forth. I chose “Nightporter” room and requested Sarina, a doll that reminds me of an early girlfriend I had in Taft High School. It takes them about ten minutes to secure the doll as well as the room. I never see a live worker on the premise. Every transaction is done through the hotel receptionist, whom I mention being a sex doll as well.

The Nightporter room is based on the film and is a large room with six or seven hospital beds. Sarina was on one of the beds dressed in a black sweater and an off-white dress with a shirt collar. My high school sweetheart used to wear the same dress, and one of the wonderful things about this hotel is that you can custom made your dolls to whatever specific clothing or hair or eye color. The girls look real, and I have never seen a dead girl before, but I imagine that this is the closest one can get to a dead girl.

When you touch Sarina, she feels real, but no sign of life. Intellectually it is hard for me to penetrate a doll, but once I get in a mindset, I’m fine. I’m obsessed with my ageing, and, interestingly, this hotel caters to men in my age bracket, and I’m not sure why? But what is interesting is that I physically age, but the dolls look precisely the same. Of course, they do not age, and they remind one of the time being stopped, or perhaps a memory that one freeze, so one can observe over and over again. After each encounter, one is responsible for cleaning up the doll, and in the drawer, they have assorted cleaning tools. One would think since I’m a paying customer, would leave the dolls dirty, but I can’t do that. Not thinking about the next guy, but more out of respect for the doll, and the pleasure she gave me, or is it more about the joy I give myself?