Tosh Berman on Rubber Soul

 

Tosh on The Beatles' album "Rubber Soul"

Tosh Berman on "Help" by The Beatles

 

Tosh on Help by The Beatles

Tosh Berman on The Beatles Album, "A Hard Day's Night"

 

Tosh Berman on The Beatles' Second Album "With The Beatles"

 

Tosh Berman on The Beatles' Second Album "With The Beatles" (1963)

Tosh Berman on the Beatles' "Please Please Me"

 

Tosh Berman on The Beatles' PLEASE PLEASE ME

My Favorite Albums of All Time (Part 10)

 

My Favorite Albums of All Time (Part 10)

Have Gun Will Travel by Tosh Berman

 

Have Gun Will Travel by Tosh Berman

The Cave Has No Exit by Tosh Berman

 

The Cave Has No Exit by Tosh Berman

Read it here!

The World of Tosh Berman: Saturday, May 15, 2021 (The Mysterious Michael Braun and Love Me Do!)

 

https://tosh.substack.com/p/the-mysterious-michael-braun-love 

The World of Tosh Berman: The Mysterious Michael Braun and Love Me Do!

The One Album I Listened to in 2005

 

2005. What was that about? The only album I can remember buying that year was Paul McCartney's "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard." I haven't bought a Paul album since the 1970s, but I was pulled in by the album's title as well as the front cover photo by Mike McGear, Paul's brother. I think Mike was (or is) a remarkable photographer at the time, and his images of his brother, as well as the other members of the Fab Four, are

classics.

Not only is this my favorite Paul album, but a total surprise that he came up with something special in the 21st-century. It's mostly Paul by himself, with some extra musicians, such as Joby Talbot, who worked with the arrangements for The Divine Comedy, and that aesthetic comes through on the recordings. It's a shame that Paul didn't work with Neil Hannon, because I think those two would make some sonic magic. Nevertheless, the decision to have Nigel Godrich behind the production was an excellent choice. Rumors are that he really pushed Paul on the writing as well as his lyrics. The album has all the classic Paul touches, but as an older man, he reflects in an interesting manner on his life through these songs. Therefore, it matches perfectly with the front cover. Paul as a very young man, or teenager, with a guitar in his backyard somewhere in Liverpool. A remarkable album. What's sad is that there were other things happening that were new musically, but I somehow missed the boat. I regret that I wasn't into Sunn(((O.

Tosh's Journal: September 19 (Brian Epstein & The Beatles)

TOSH’S JOURNAL (Brian Epstein & The Beatles)

September 19

“I am determined to go through the horror of this world.” I don’t throw the dice, and I pretty much map out the plans on a massive desk in my office. I have four men in my office at this moment, and they are wearing leather jackets with button-up Levis and motorcycle boots. I don’t know if I should french-kiss each one, or dress them up for a party. Nevertheless, art-making and doing business is very well the same thing. John and George are, without a doubt the hottest here, and both are sort of emotionally damaged. Not sure why, more likely due to the loss of a family member, or just not fitting in the world. This is something that I totally understand, being left out in the world. I have been an outcast for my whole life, and I live in a world that hates me. So, I either drown in self-pity or make my own world. I have four young men here that will make a new world, for you, and without a doubt for me as well.

When I look back, I must have been dreaming. I was led into a cave, somewhere in Damn Liverpool, and I came upon a vision that hit me right away. I usually have doubts or have to re-think it, but here, was something that came upon me in a technicolour fashion, but clearly in a black and white world. It reminded me when I first went to London by myself, and I picked up on a beautiful man, who was rough on the edges, and eventually punched me out, and took all my cash as well as my watch, that my father gave me, for being such a good salesperson in our family business. It wasn’t a downer for me, it made me feel alive, and I was placed in a dangerous world, that I secretly have been craving for a long time.

I remember going into the cave and realizing that there was not an exit. I immediately felt the change in my life as soon as I enter the entrance opening. The heat was the first sensual overload, and it was like if I was going back to the womb, but not my mothers, but someone else’s uterus. A male version if there is such a thing. It wasn’t the audience that appealed to my senses but seeing four drunken musicians on the stage, that reminded me of the chap who punched me out and took my dole.

Before that, I just wanted to study acting, but my father was against that plan. He wanted me to work in the family business, and with half a heart, I did so. I eventually went to drama school, but I realize I hated school life. At the time, it was bad as my world but much smaller, and therefore I felt I couldn’t breathe in that environment. I then realize that I can be a performer, but I needed the right medium to work with. What I wanted to do was re-shape the horrible world and somehow make it into a better place I was ill in my stomach thinking of all the lies that I had to put up with. Here in front of me, is one way out, a new honesty at work, that will change mine as well as your life. John, George, Paul and….. Pete. That last name doesn’t fit well with the others. I must make a note to change that in the very near future.

I know very little about music, even though I work in the record store department of the family store, but I know it’s important to others. I recall a young man, or boy, who came in and asked for a song “My Bonnie,” and I remember his face being so disappointed when we didn’t have that record in stock. I almost wanted to come up to him and put my arms around him. It wasn’t eros, but more of a feeling or remembrance of my past disappointments. I feel if I could supply people a certain amount of happiness, and not deal with bitter disappointments, then I have contributed something to “this” world. Alas, there are for two worlds. I’m going to change one world and make it into my idealistic world. I have the tools or instruments right in front of me. I just need to fine-tuned or get rid of the Pete issue.

The Beatles - Decca Audition, January 1 1962

The Fab 3 plus Pete Best, who is actually great here. In fact, the whole session is pretty fantastic. Besides the drumming (reminds me of The Cramps), the vocals are superb. Full of drama and intensity. Why Decca turned them down is a total mystery. Maybe their manner in the studio? It has the Cliff Richard/Billy Fury era sound, but more primitive.  And Elvis.

"The Magic Circle: On The Beatles, Pop Art, Art-Rock and Records" by Jan Tumlir (Onomatopee)

ISBN: 978-94-91677-43-4 Onomatopee

The Magic Circle: On The Beatles, Pop Art, Art-Rock and Records” by Jan Tumlir (Onomatopee)

Like it or not, The Beatles will always be the dividing line between acceptance and non-acceptance.  Those who hate The Fab Four, do so, just because they exist.  In a way, the issue is brought up in Yukio Mishima’s novel “The Temple of the Golden Pavilion.” Not specifically mind you, but the fact that the main character had to destroy and burn down the Golden Pavillion, because it such an iconic beauty, that he felt it restricted his life.  The Anti-Beatle people I suspect, feel the same way.   Not me, by the way.  I love the band.  Although I have to admit that I really don’t listen to them that much anymore, because their music is pretty much etched into my DNA.  I can just look at a Beatles album cover, and the melodies come right into my head via eyesight straight to the brain.  Jan Tumlir’s book on the later Beatle works and its culture sort of works in that same frame of mind.  It is a culture that one can’t escape from, and here, in great detail, he approaches the Beatle world via the visual arts as well as how they are placed in our world culturally.  

For instance, it is fascinating when Tunlir writes about the Beatle album covers from Sgt. Pepper to the so-called “White Album.” It’s fascinating how Peter Blake and Jann Haworth’s design for the Pepper cover is totally maximum but the White Album, designed by Richard Hamilton, is totally minimal.  It’s interesting to look at The Beatles music and product, and how in-tuned they were with the arts of the time.  In a sense, all roads led to the Beatles.  Tunlir uses John, George, Paul & Ringo as signs or sign posts to a culture that expanded, and yet, very important to its local (Liverpool, America) region.  Which in turn becomes the world. 

- Tosh Berman

September 19, 2014

September 19, 2014

“I am determined to go through the horror of this world.” I don’t throw the dice, and I pretty much map out the plans on a massive desk in my office.   I have four men in my office at this moment, and they are wearing leather jackets with button up Levis, and motorcycle boots.  I don’t know if I should french-kiss each one, or dress them up for a party.  Nevertheless art-making and doing business is very well the same thing.  John and George are without a doubt the hottest here, and both are sort of emotionally damaged.  Not sure why, more likely due to the lost of a family member, or just not fitting in the world.  This is something that I totally understand, not fitting in the world.  I have been an outcast for my whole life, and I live in a world that hates me.  So, I either drown in self-pity, or make my own world.  I have four young men here that will make a new world, for you, and without a doubt for me as well.

When I look back, I must have been dreaming. I was led into a cave, somewhere in Damn Liverpool, and I came upon a vision that hit me right away.   I usually have doubts or have to re-think it, but here, was something that came upon me in a technicolor fashion, but clearly in a black and white world.  It reminded me when I first went to London by myself, and I picked up on a beautiful man, who was rough on the edges, and eventually punched me out, and took all my cash as well as my watch, that my father gave me, for being such a good salesperson in our family business.  Yet, it wasn’t a downer for me, it made me feel alive, and I was placed in a dangerous world, that I secretly have been craving for a long time.

I remember going into the cave, and realizing that there was not any exit.  I immediately felt the change in my life as soon as I enter the entrance opening.  The heat was the first sensual overload, and it was like if I was going back to the womb, but not my mothers, but someone else’s uterus. A male version if there is such a thing. It wasn’t the audience that appealed to my senses, but seeing four drunken musicians on the stage, that sort of reminded me of the chap who punched me out and took my dole.

Before that, I just wanted to study acting, but my father was against that plan.  He wanted me to work in the family business, and with half a heart I did so.  I eventually went to drama school, but I realize I hated school life.  At the time, it was bad as my world, but much smaller, and therefore I felt I couldn’t breathe in that environment.  I then realize that I can be a performer, but I needed the right medium to work with.  What I really wanted to do was re-shape the horrible world and somehow make it into a better place I was ill in my stomach thinking of all the lies that I had to put up with.  Here in front of me, is one way out, a new honesty at work, that will change mine as well as your life.  John, George, Paul and….. Pete.   That last name doesn’t fit well with the others.  I must make a note to change that in the very near future.

I know very little about music, even though I work in the record store department of the family store, but I know it's important to others. I recall a young man, or boy, who came in and asks for a song “My Bonnie, ” and I remember his face being so disappointed when we didn’t have that record in stock. I almost wanted to come up to him and put my arms around him.  It wasn’t eros, but more of a feeling or remembrance of my past disappointments.  I feel if I could supply people a certain amount of happiness, and not deal with bitter disappointments, then I have contributed something to “this” world. Alas, there are for two worlds.  I’m going to change one world and make it into my idealistic world.   I have the tools or instruments right in front of me.   I just need to fine-tuned or get rid of the Pete issue.

June 23, 2014

June 23, 2014

Most of my life I have been obsessed with a Beatle, but it wasn’t John, George, Paul, Ringo, or Pete Best.  It was Stuart Sutcliffe.  He was an old Liverpool friend of John Lennon, and probably one of his major influences as well.  We all need to search for perfection, to better ourselves, and for John in those early years, it was Stu.  All the Beatles were handsome, but Stu, was truly the most beautiful man in my lifetime and beyond.  Although, I guess, in theory, I’m a heterosexual, but with a homosexual bent, going towards the image and thoughts on Stuart Sutcliffe.

What I have observed in books and magazines, I do like Stu’s paintings, but it’s mostly his visual image that captures my heart.  Has he ever took a bad portrait?  His beauty was like the tip of a sharpened pencil, not touched by paper or hand.  When I see images of him, I think of a life that is not perfect, because he’s no longer on this planet, but exists in my head.  Despite the fact that I never met him, nor any of the other members of the Beatle world, I like to imagine him in my life in some form or manner.   Like Paul McCartney who was reported to be jealous of Lennon’s relationship with Sutcliffe, I too, feel left out by not knowing him personally.

Stu died in 1962, and he never knew how the world has changed, when his fellow friends sort of, in a brief moment in time, seemed to change the world. All an illusion of course, but at times, this is all we have.   Yet, Sutcliffe seemed to have found a lover in Hamburg, and chose to remain in a world where he can paint.  It was evident that a man who was so beautiful would be a very good painter as well.  If you think about it, most celebrated painters were also fantastic looking people.  There are ugly musicians, but for some reason a good painter is the one who always looks at the very least, beautiful.  I often imagine his life as a Bob Fosse choreographed dance piece.  He’s the lead, and I’m in his arms dancing in some one-bulb barely lighted artist’s studio, somewhere in Hamburg.  Of course it doesn’t deal at all with reality, for instance I know by the photographs what Stu looked like, but for instance, I never heard his voice.  It’s amazing when you think about how important he was to the Beatle narrative, yet, there is no recording of his voice.  So all we get are just the dazzling images of him in the Hamburg years of his young life.  I came to love him, but obviously it was more in love with the thought of loving him.  The distance of my feelings for him and reality became a troublesome obsession on my part.  I never expressed this to anyone, but some time ago I made the decision to do something about it.

I went to the Kinsey Institute located in Indiana University to hopefully do a series of interviews with the director at the time, John Bancroft.  I spoke to his assistant, regarding my thoughts on Stu, and how I cope day-to-day in my life.  He made note of my sexual practices as well as some of the other strong sexual fantasies I have.   He basically told me that he couldn’t give me advice, because of his role in this manner, is to record my story, and that is about it.  But he did let me know off the record that he feels that a love for one’s own gender is very basic truth.   I never had a fantasy of having sex with Stu, but more that I want to be a part of his presence.  I think of Tom Ripley when he actually wanted to be the person that he was obsessed within the novel “The Talented Mr. Ripley.”

My feelings for Stu never went away, and I often felt angry when I come upon a Beatles record or film, for instance, “Help, ” because there is no reference to Stu Sutchliffe in the film.  It is almost like he’s erased from history, and all I have are my thoughts of me being in his arms dancing “The Pajama Game.”

June 18, 2014

June 18, 2014

Looking back on my life, I obviously wasted a lot of time.  But on the other hand I had a sense of immense enjoyment as well.  Regret is knowing something and ignoring that urge. I on the other hand never ignored an urge on my part.  For instance, recalling that now, I should have never worked in the workforce and become just another drone in the world of financially surviving.  There is no crime being poor, but truly there is something indecent about not doing what you want to do.  But even then, I enjoyed my life greatly.  The one thing that impressed me as a child was watching “Have Gun Will Travel,” for whom the main character Paladin, was a gentleman, a scholar, a connoisseur of fine wine, women, and living the life in wild west era San Francisco.  But like in real life, the dualities that we are willing to live in, Paladin makes his money by being a hired gun. Although this is a television show, I find it implications in real life fascinating.

Ted Kaczynski is an interesting figure as well, because on one hand he is a murderer, yet he has an interesting philosophy with respect how one lives in a world where nature is slowly or quickly in some cases are murdered by today’s world.  By what we see or hear of Kaczynski, he was or is a remarkable fellow.  Accepted to Harvard when he was only 16, and graduated from that school when he was 20.  Eventually he went to University of Michigan where he got his PhD in mathematics.   His speciality was a branch of complex analysis known as geometric function theory.  Also noted by his professors at the time, that Kaczynski’s thesis “Boundary Functions” was so advanced, that only “maybe 10 or 12 men in the country understood or appreciate it.” In 1967, Kaczynski became an assistant professor at the University of California, Berkeley where he taught courses in geometry and calculus.  He was the youngest professor ever hired by the University.  But alas, he wasn’t a competent teacher.  Students stated that he was often stuttering and mumbling during class lectures, and were remote from his students.  Without providing a reason to his superiors, he left to wander in the hills outside of Lincoln, Montana.  He was living in a cabin that had no running water or electricity.  Still, it was a good location to make a bomb or two in complete privacy.

If I had to opt for Paladin and Kaczynski, I would take the third choice, Raymond Radiguet, who was a novelist and poet and a very dear friend to Jean Cocteau.  Like Kaczynski, Radiguet was quite young. In fact, he died of typhoid fever when he was only 20 years old. But before that he wrote two remarkable novels “The Devil in the Flesh” and “The Count’s Ball.” As I am just about 60, I am surprised that I didn’t write a book decades ago.  Both the lives of Paladin and Kaczynski I sort of can admire, but to live in the shoes of Radiguet, even though his life only lasted a matter of seconds, compared to the other two, his life was a dream.  Being supported by the great Cocteau, although one can wonder how much that support was for Radiguet’s talent as a writer or as a gentleman of certain pleasures.

Death at an early age puts a frame around one’s talent and personality.  It is just like adding the period after Radiguet.  Paladin didn’t exist, but yet his “existence” did, and therefore never disappointed me. The life of Kaczynski could have been perfect as well, but he made choices that I’m not happy with.  Regardless of the fact that his message is quite clear, his actions were not. Regardless of the fact that he’s still alive, it is like he’s living a death behind bars. He’s a memory that eventually will be a footnote in true crime history.  One doesn’t read emotion in his character, till one realizes that he fell under the charm of a sentiment, that he will never successfully spread, due to his heartless sense of justice.  Rage can be a beneficial tool, but it is best to use it for the pen on the paper.

The one true perfect moment for me is when I watched The Ed Sullivan show after “Have Gun Will Travel” and realizing what will come next would for at least a moment or two, brought a huge group of people together by a few Yeah, Yeah’s - and the world of black and white turned into a beautiful technicolor point of view of the planet. But alas, like a lot of dreams it turned sour.  For me, I have to live in a life projected by a light beam, because I can't deal with the disappointments that surround one's life.  Yet, with hindsight, one can cherry pick the highs and can leave the lows in the trash bin that is history.

April 10, 2014 (100th day)

April 10, 2014

The shock of the new for me is when Paul McCartney announced to the world that he was leaving The Beatles.  I was a teenager at the time, and of course, like most American teenagers I was totally wrapped up in everything that was the Fab Four.  It was the first time that I experienced the feeling that things can’t last forever, and their breakup caused a major head-fuck for me, because I couldn’t understand at the time, why they had to break up.  I mean, couldn’t they just talk it out.  What was worst was reading the John Lennon interview in Rolling Stone that year, where he just exposed all his inner-feelings about Paul to the public.  I was not only shocked to read this interview, but I actually hated him for letting his true feelings out.  I have great faith in a world where one has the illusion of a perfect domain, and that they should with all their power, keep that world intact.   Here, Lennon was shitting on the Beatle world, therefore my world as well.

The one illusion that was important to me was the TV series “The Rifleman” starring Chuck Connors as Lucas McCain and Johnny Crawford as his son, Mark McCain.   It was the first show to portray a widowed parent raising a child by himself.   Lucas’s character is that of a rancher who purchased a ranch and is making a concerted effort to make it all work, with his son helping out with the daily duties of running a ranch.  McCain was also a excellent rifleman, and had a specially made rifle which could be fired rapidly.   But the heart of the show is the relationship between Lucas and his son.  In fact, I never have seen such a relationship before on TV or in a film.  Whenever I watch the series I felt a great deal of comfort, because the Dad here is very decent, very powerful, and is basically concerned about his son’s welfare.   Scenes where McCain is without his son, or being tortured by a villain, were extremely disturbing to me.  Looking at the shows now, they do have a sub-text of S&M, at least emotionally so.  But at the time I was totally caught up with the relationship between Dad and Son.  I felt that way about The Beatles as well, because in my thoughts, here is a gang that won’t never let each other down.

Relationships are extremely important to me, and when something unexpectedly goes wrong, it disturbs me to the very core of my being.  I often can identify with the main character in Alain Resnais’s film “Last Year at Marienbad” written by Alain Robbe-Grillet.   The man approaches a woman at a social gathering at a baroque hotel, convinced that they have met the year before, and both agreed to meet the next year.  Now that the year has passed, he sees her, but she claimed to never had met him before.  In a sense he had a ‘false’ hope that this relationship will happen, but alas, it becomes an illusion of sorts.  My expectation of relationships, through the personal, as well as through the media of film and music, is one where I find myself wanting to assume that what I see on the screen or hear is true.  And it is true in my heart, but alas, the world moves differently in another dimension.

The great American composer Martin Denny portrayed a world that was beautiful and exotic through his music.  In the 1950s travel became a huge industry, and there was a need to find and visit exotic lands, for instance Hawaii.   Denny conveys a world that is Hawaii, but now I’m not sure if that is a correct representation.  I never been to Hawaii, but I know Hawaii through Denny’s music.  My Hawaii is very much expressed in Denny’s album “Exotica.”   There have been numerous times where I could have gone to Hawaii, but I always turn down the trip because I am deeply afraid that the Hawaii that I will come upon will not be the same as Denny’s Hawaii, and I wouldn’t be able to take the disappointment.

So the fact that Paul left The Beatles left a major scar in my psyche.  But also gave me the gift to observe that I live in two lives.  Almost in another dimension, in there is a world where things work out perfectly such as Martin Denny’s Hawaii landscape, and "The Rifleman."   On the other side is the Beatles split, and the disappointment that is the heart of “Last Year at Marienbad. ”

The Beatles "White Album" Seen Through The Eyes and Ears of Rutherford Chang

"The Beatles: White Album" by Rutherford Chang

About six months ago a friend of mine sent me a link regarding the artist Rutherford Chang and his project of documenting and collecting versions of the album “The Beatles” better known to the world as the “White Album.”   Chang has around 900 copies of the album, and as an exhibition he had a pop-up store of sorts in Soho New York, where he had a record store that only exhibited the “White Album.”   Some may find the concept humorous but I was almost moved to tears when I saw the images of this exhibition.  It made me think of the importance of the record store, and of course The Beatles themselves.  Specifically the importance of the “White Album.”

Chang took the next step and made a vinyl release of “The Beatles” which is the album overlaid 100 times.   Even the famous iconic album cover and packaging is overlaid many times over from previous covers over the years.   But how does this work as a listening experience.  Well, I have the album, and it’s a masterpiece.

First of all the album itself is beautiful.  The cover at first looks like the White Album, but re-done by some lunatic with an ink pen.  But then you realize the overlaid aspect of the cover and this is sort of a Frankenstein monster, where all the parts become something new yet familiar.  The album comes with a glossy poster of 100 White Album covers, which is worth the price alone for this incredible package.

One would think that the sound would be totally chaos, but alas, it is actually a meditative work of superb beauty.   The album works on so many levels.  There is the layer physical aspect of having this album in your hands and admiring the artwork.  It is both a tribute to the original source as well as seeing how art can move on from its source intro something else. That is part one of the enjoyment, the other big part is the sounds itself.

The layering of 100 recordings being roughly played at the same time makes this a dreamy utopia.  The vinyl sound of the needle and the clicks itself are so human and beautiful, then you hear something like Eric Clapton’s solo on “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and it takes one into a blissful state.  Due to the delay there are no tracks between the songs, it is all one piece and the sheets of sound that comes up time-to-time is amazing.  “Helter Skelter” instead of being this harsh rocker, becomes a sonic wave hitting the beach and returning back to the ocean.  “Bluebird” which has a beautiful melody keeps that intact, but the textural aspect of the song comes out like you are underwater listening to music. 

Right now I have to imagine that this album won’t be around forever, but surely the remaining members of The Beatles as well as the estate surrounding the fab four (especially Yoko) will realize that Chang made an incredible tribute to their music, yet it goes beyond that.   This is the most impressive album I have seen or heard this year — or decade so far.  You can hear side one  on Sound-cloud, but even that, it doesn’t capture the beauty of this vinyl on your turntable producing these incredible sounds for your ears and yes, eyes as well.

Astrid Kirchherr: A Retrospective

Astrid Kirchherr, is the Hamburg photographer/artist who photographed the (very) young Beatles. Also became a lover to both Klaus Voorman and the lost legendary beauty (and Beatle) Stu Sutcliffe. He is the one who left the band for the visual arts, but died in his early 20's. 

Kirchherr made a series of haunting portraits of the men in her life, and what we have here is the social world of John, George, Paul, Pete Best, Ringo, Klaus and Stu. She also brought in the French new wave St. Germain aesthetic to the guys. in other words she opened up their Liverpool world into even a bigger world. Short, but important time was spent in Hamburg playing in various rough and tuff music clubs - and with that a mixture of high art/aesthetics were the floor plans for the Beatles aesthetic take-over of the 1960's. 

The beauty of Kirchherr's work is being in the right place, right time, and the right subjects for his image taking. But she also knows a beautiful face, and knows how to light it and presented to the world. Remarkable talent. 

This is a catalog to her retrospective that took place in Liverpool, and it is both an important document of a time past, but also the great dynamics that were happening between mainland Europe and the Liverpool scene. Essential book for the Beatle lover, but even something more....