March 24, 2020 (In the Year of the Trump Virus)

March 24, 2020 (In the Year of the Trump Virus)

Terrence McNally's passing brings to mind my 88-year old Uncle, who is on Oxygen and has problems with his lungs. Fragile existence on an average day, but with the virus going around, it is truly a life-and-death issue with me. I stay away from my Uncle, and I'm conscientious in my surroundings, in that I don't go out of the house, unless to the market or to drop off food for my Uncle and Mom (both live in my neighborhood). Oddly enough, I'm not scared, but more super aware than anything else. 

The news of McNally's death, due to coronavirus, is disturbing by itself, but with the addition of President Virus's remarks about opening businesses on or before Easter is criminally insane. I would also add insensitive concerning that people are sick, and some are dying. He shouldn't forget that. 

Being secluded is not that difficult for me. I think more due to my character, and perhaps being an only child is helpful in this aspect of modern-day life. I've been reading a lot. For instance, I read two books on the surfer Miki Dora: "All for a Few Perfect Waves" by David Rensin and "Dora Lives." I'm starting a writing project on the bad-boy, although legendary surfer, so it has been an excellent time-killer for me. It is ironic to be indoors all the time while reading about a man who traveled the world for the aesthetic pleasure of being part of the ocean. Still, it's satisfying to meditate on the condition of the world, as one reads on. I also finished reading Cornelius Cardew's "Stockhausen Serves Imperialism" For those who like Hard Left-Wing politics mixed in with the modern classical world will find entertainment within its pages. 

My suggestion to readers of my blog/Facebook posts is that you should not think of the isolation as a punishment or even to save a life, but more of a position of pleasure. I'm anxious, especially when I wake up in the middle of the night with thoughts of dread. By morning and when I'm having my first cup of coffee, I feel the anxiety from the night disappearing into the morning clouds or sunshine. Tonight we are going to have dinner with friends either on Facebook or through some other device or app. I have never done anything like this before, and I'm looking forward to the exchange through modern equipment. 

All-in-all, I have been moody, and even on the depressive side, but still, the pleasure of reading or listening to vinyl records is superbly pleasant. I have been keeping a journal of these days, and hopefully, it will become literature. Oh, and the good news is that Kimley and I will be doing a new episode of Book Musik tomorrow late afternoon. The focus of our discussion will be on the excellent book "It Gets Me Home" by Ian Penman. - Tosh Berman

March 20, 2020 (In The Year of the Trump Virus)

March 20, 2020 (In the year of the Trump Virus)

I just delivered my mom some bread that we had in the fridge as well as a bottle of wine. I left it on her front porch, walked away to the street, and then called her to come out to pick up the package. She came out, I waved, and then got into the car and left. I was going to do a significant shopping for her (as well as for us), but I presume that the food markets will be intensely busy, and decided to go later in the day, or within a few days. Both my mom, Uncle, and his mate, and yours truly have food in our houses for at least the end of this week. My thinking is to avoid panic buying or avoid other panic-buyers. 

My mood is not on the bottom floor, but somewhere in the middle of the building, perhaps on the sixth-floor. It's either here or there. I was laid off work yesterday, and all I have read is how many people lost their jobs in the past 24-hours. I'm not angry whatsoever, just disappointed because I enjoy this part (really part)-time job greatly. It's a bookstore, and like the other bookstores in the Los Angeles area such as Skylight Books and Book Soup (my old residence) is fully closed until further news. Libraries, my second home, is closed as well. Well, everything is closed that's emotionally important to me. Essential is more body-based, such as eating for survival, and emotional are all the fun shops. 

I spend my time writing and reading the current issue of MOJO Magazine (good article on Jimi Hendrix's last days) as well as a big biography on the legendary surfer Mikki Dora. When I take my baths, I read Cornelius Cardew's "Stockhausen Serves Imperialism." Cardew was an English composer who studied under Stockhausen as well as exploring the works of John Cage. Somewhere down the line, Cardew became a hardened Leftist and denounced Stockhausen and Cage. It's a fascinating read. I have always had a soft spot for individuals who are extremists. Which, in this time and age, makes many nervous. 

I'm a prisoner in our home, and it's not unusual for me to spend days at a time working and living in this space. So, I don't have any problem staying at home, especially when a library and records surround me. Depression does sneak up to me, especially the body blows of the Trump Virus taking effect on my surroundings. It's difficult not to see my mom and Uncle at this time. Still, I do help and think of them all of the time. - Tosh Berman